Such Lovely Lies You Have

If there's one thing I learned from House, it's that it's not Lupus. The next thing which I didn't really learn from House but could claim to have done so is that everyone lies. These things happen for various reasons, either to keep ourselves from looking bad (I'm looking at you, 10th Grade Science Teacher), to protect the youth, or whatever. My Future Children will become disillusioned with me regardless what I do once they hit middle school and they realize that everyone is out to get them, so I guess looking bad isn't a big deal. I guess protecting children is a big thing for parents, but what exactly they're being protected from isn't really clear to me. Lying to children is also a pretty big thing, particularly in terms of stories and and various fantastical persons. I say, why have some pansy ass-strategy involving telling some of the truth and some lies when you could tell ALL OF THE TRUTH or ALL OF THE LIES? Okay, ALL of the lies may be difficult without a great deal of effort. Personally, I consider Calvin's father (of Calvin and Hobbes fame) to be one of the greatest father figures of all time. OF ALL TIME. I can only hope Spouse is down with being Calvin's Mom to balance me being Calvin's Dad.
I really think that My Future Kids could learn a lot from hearing my bullshit all the time. Never trust authority! The Man will lie to you! Anything you hear is probably false and it's up to you sort the things that matter out from all the bullshit. And boy, there sure is a lot of bullshit.mhed it be better to think of bullshit ahead of time? Or to shit on the go? Yes, I think it would be better to never give them the same story, so they can catch on sooner. The more I don't think for them, the more they have to think for themselves, right?
Alternatively, I suppose I could get them to consider me the source of all knowledge and someone who will reliably give them the straight dope regardless of whether they REALLY want it or not. That's boring though. But at least it's less boring than saying mostly true things and then fidgeting around uncomfortably when they ask the hard questions. If anyone will be fidgeting uncomfortably, it will be them, dammit!