Practice Kids

My Future Kids are going to grow up with pets. Awesome pets. I'm thinking one of those massive dogs. The ones that look like bears. Those dogs are the best. I bet you could get by for a couple months on one of those dogs. It will have to be a friendly and well-behaved dog because there's no way My Future Kids aren't going to decide to ride it. I'm thinking that I will also have some cool but possibly less high-maintenance. Maybe an outdoor cat or something in a tank. I think a pet would be a good way to teach responsibility. Especially if they learn to love it, so they are less inclined to just let their pets die. Fish are the worst pets. They are so boring. I think it would be cool to have an octopus. Those things are so cool. But I heard they escape? I would not be surprised if octopuses are wont to go rogue.
Apparently, everything I ever learned about pluralizing "octopus" in elementary school was wrong. Those jerks.
Anyway, pets! I never had any pets, I bet pets would be great. Like cheaper, more obedient versions of children. Maybe I could have a lizard! Lizards are so cool. I bet My Future Kids will get all the chicks if we have a lizard. Bitches love lizards. I suppose we could have a snake, but I think that would just make it too easy, and that's just not my job.
My Future Kids will learn how to take care of things, right? That's a good thing to teach them? They can learn all about conditioning yet still be totally unaware of the conditioning they've been put through! Maybe I can practice conditioning on the bear-dog before I use it on My Future Kids. Hmm!
Pets, man, I wish I had them. I think I was a lonely child. I don't know if I would have learned anything outside the realm of pet care, but maybe I would have been happier. Who knows!