Brace Yourself

My Future Kids are going to be good at math. I don't care if they one dream in life is to become an artist, a crack whore, whatever, they're going to be goddamn good at math. I do not think that this will be difficult for them, as they have the benefit of my genes to help them, but even if it is THEY WILL DO IT ANYWAY. And by good at math, I don't mean good with numbers, real mathematicians don't use numbers anyway. I mean the math that makes you think in different ways. I'm talking about that shit that gets you high, man. It's philosophy without the bullshit. Problem solving and critical thinking in it's purest form. They don't need to become math majors, they don't don't even need to like math, but I swear to their gods or any other, they will be good at it. My Future Kids will write the best goddamn proofs. Their logic will be infallible and they will own your ass in an argument. My Future Kids will make you look like the goddamn fool you are for using your goddamn fool arguments. My Future Kids will pity you.
Initially My Future Kids will not understand that my belief that they are better than the rest of them is not some absurd parental bias, but rather a demand. You know that kid in your class who makes you feel stupid but still helps you understand the math? That will be My Future Kid. I really don't care if My Future Kids are dumb as shit in everything else, they will be able to math. I will teach them myself every goddamn night if I have to.
My Future Kids will know their shit. Not only will they know their shit, they will know what shit they do or do not know, and they will know when you  do not know your shit. That is the power of My Future Kids begin good at math. Between being good at math and having me bullshitting them all the time, they will gain an excellent sense of what is or is not bullshit.
They will see through your shit, and you will fear them. Not even your god can save you from My Future Kids.