Dr. Danger Science Lastnamehere

My Future Kids will have very carefully chosen names. If were to be superstitious about anything, it would be about the power of a name. For this reason I will never name any of My Future Kids either Tiffany or Whitney for fear that they will become sluts. I'm sorry, to all the non-slutty Tiffanys and Whitneys out there, but you have a slut's name. 

The ideal name has two syllables, should be neither too hard nor too soft, and cannot end with an 'i.'

I think the tough part for me will be finding sufficiently unique names that aren't stupid. Especially for my boys. I think it's harder to have unique, non-stupid boy names. I think some of the best boy names are last names. Is it wrong to steal someone else's last name for My Future Kids? It seems like it's faking a culture to honor. Maybe a new age calls for new names to honor it. My high school biology teacher had a friend who wanted to name her daughter Plasmodesmata or maybe it was Plasmodesma, either way, crazy stuff. 

For some reason, I really like the name 'Wallice' for a girl. Also 'Arden.' I guess I like my names like I like my people: vaguely androgynous. 

I'm still trying to think of unique boy names that aren't already attached to a culture that isn't mine, and I'm telling you, it's a bit of work. I like the name Rodger, but it just makes me think of Rodger from His Dark Materials, and that makes me sad.
I think I might pick names that have fallen out of use in recent history. This would have the benefit of allowing most people to recognize their names as names with decent pronunciation but a low probability of encountering another person with the same name in everyday life. 

Thinking about it, I don't think there are many boys' names that instantly prejudice me, so maybe it's okay for boys to have less unique names, I'm not sure.

Oh, and I am excited for middle names. What an excellent opportunity to troll My Future Kids for the rest of theirs lives! I actually think that 'Danger' would not be a bad middle name. I'm completely serious. Or 'Torus,' that would not be a bad name either. 

Moral of the story: My Future Kids will have cool names and awesome middle names and Spouse will just have to consider themselves lucky if they get to give any input.

Oh my gosh, 'Science' actually would be a pretty great middle name. Thanks, SMBC!