It's gonna be the future soon

My typical life strategy is to not think to much and do some stuff and everything will work out. This has worked for me in the past, but I admit that I am concerned about the future. In comes my secondary life strategy- break down the problem, preferably while blogging. So here goes.

I don't really know what I'm going to do with my life and I've got that choice paralysis. Senior year is upon me and the time has come to choose a direction. So from what I can see, these are my options:

0) Do nothing/ do whatever (aka the easiest and most profitable option, or you know, whatever. Believe in the heart of the cards!)

Happiness and fulfillment is a journey, not a destination. My life directly after graduating won't dictate the entire rest of my life. Seriously, chill the fuck out, me. 

Counterpoint- You will probably want stability in your adult life. That means a final decision at some point. Also, just doing whatever isn't necessarily helpful towards achieving goals and being the person you want to be. You'll be alive, probably, but what else will you be? Have a little ambition for Pete's sake.

Countercounterpoint- Doing many things and picking your favorite is a pretty good strategy in general. Anneal yo' life, bro. 

Counter{3}point- Many options in life take time. Years. And you only have so many. Do you really want to try everything? It takes like ten years of hard work to become and expert in anything. YOU'RE ONLY GETTING OLDER, BUB.

Okay here comes the hard part. Addressing the myriad possibilities post-graduation.
1) Go to grad school. Probably I would go for AI or some shit, but I don't actually know what that really means.

If you want to do something great, probably you will need some schooling to do it. You could be a code monkey for the rest of your days, but will it get you to the top of Maslow's hierarchy?
Counterpoint- Counterpoints are manifold.
1) Grad school is an investment of years and years of your life and you don't even really know what you want to go for. You're dumb.

2) Who needs greatness to be happy?

3) Like the tip of Maslow's hierarchy is a place you can actually get. Like Maslow's hierarchy is even a real thing. Screw you.

Countercounterpoints-
1) How do you know what you want to do until you do it?

2) Um, you? Maybe?

2) Get a job. As a software developer this would be easy and bring in the fat stacks. (Note that I have an offer already, so I can be cavalier)

You need to get some kind of money-generator sometime. And software development is perfect for a talentless fuck such as yourself.

Counterpoint- What if being a dev isn't what you want to do for the rest of your life?

Countercounterpoint- Oh, I'm sorry a fun job and lots of money isn't good enough for you. Fuck you.

3) Run away.

Perfect for not having any money or any lasting relationships. This is obviously the best plan.

 It's probably not a coincidence that my current plan is all of these. ie Run away, go work, and then maybe grad school.

4) Surprise bonus option: become a crack whore

Just kidding. Never be a crack whore. Do literally anything but that and your life goal of never being a crack whore will be met. Do not disappoint me, Future Me.

How to Trick People into Thinking They Like You

The key to tricking people into thinking they like you is to make them act like they like you. That's it. I thought it would be useful to compile a list of tactics.

1) Get them to do favors for you. This is known as the Benjamin Franklin Effect where doing one favor for a person (you) makes them more likely to do more favors for that person than if that person (you) did a favor for them. The theory is that when they see themselves doing nice things for you, they think that it's because they like you. Suckers. Apparently this is a technique ol' Benny F. used to make friends.

2) Scare them. This is known as the misattribution of arousal. The adrenaline rush of fear is similar to the adrenaline rush of attraction. People can't really tell the difference.

3) Like them. And show them, I guess. This is the principle of reciprocity. People like people who like them. People are nice to people who are nice to them. 

4) Play hard-to-get. Make them uncertain of how you feel. I don't know if there's a good name for this effect, so here's a link instead. As much as I enjoy pretending that the world works the way I think it should, it does not. Though I would like for people to be able to say what they feel and get on where their lives, sometimes uncertain states are more optimal. I hate this, that's why it's last. Anyway, the theory behind this one is that when you are unsure of how much someone likes you (in this case, likes you), you are more prone to thinking about them and when you see yourself thinking about this person all the time, you conclude that you must like them.

I think I've talked about most of these before, but now here's a list with links. If I find any more, maybe I will add to the list. Probably not. Anyway, the common factor in all of these tricks is that they make people behave, on some level, like they like you. So really, you can generalize from there. 

The Old Ways

I think it's interesting how the past gets glorified. In some ways it makes sense: we glorify our formative years because they shaped us and we turned out great. In some ways it really doesn't. Like in certain works of literature, they talk about these powerful, ancient ways that have since been lost to the passage of time. Like there's some finite wealth of knowledge that's slowly trickling away. Are you seriously telling me that these swords forged by elves of the First Age are the best there is despite several ages in which to improve the craft? ages presumably in which swords are still relevant so there really isn't any advantage to learning how to make better things instead? I'll grant there there may be ancient techniques for ancient skills that could be superior to our modern techniques for ancient skills but only because we found we no longer needed those skills before going back to them under different circumstances.
Every generation looks at the younger generation and shakes its head. Why is that? My first thought was that the world is changing enough now that every generation is different. But really this has been happening since there were generations^†. Though change is not a modern phenomenon. Maybe every generation really is different. The source I cited below concerned younger folk doing such things as wearing shoes and taking baths. Or maybe we just forgot how shitty we used to be. Past Me thought (then Current Me) was pretty great. I now know that I was wrong, but perhaps I while never fully understand how wrong. I think my current iteration is pretty great, but more than likely I will change my mind about that too.
When I started writing this post, I was thinking about how quickly the world is changing. I was thinking that with the acceleration of technological advancements, the world will change ever more rapidly. But maybe I am wrong. Maybe this change is solely from this new level of connectivity we have. We're close to the point of being as connected as humanly possible, though not quite at the Mind Link I envision for the future. But barring some merging of texts, chats, and emails, we're pretty close to as connected as possible in the foreseeable future. So maybe that's it. That's the big thing. Maybe at some point we'll figure it and equilibrate.  Our technology will improve, but maybe the way interact won't change much. I'm not really sure.
Once, for an APUSH (technically just USH) assignment, we had to choose what we thought were the 5 or 10 or 1 or whatever most important/ influential events in the last century or so. We got a list. The most important event I chose was the invention of the internet. My teacher was a bit outraged. I think he wanted something like Pearl Harbor or some shit. I didn't defend my choice to him. In later reflection though, I stood by my choice. I think I still do. Though, to be fair, I never really was very good at history. Anyway, screw you, Cwod.

Hm. I was planning on talking more about our view of younger generations with a little bit of anecdotal evidence. Well, here goes. From what I see of the internet, the 90s was the the ideal time to be a child and it's a travesty when ten-year-olds have cell phones and ipods. Though I suppose I could technically fall into the category of "90s kid," I was only only sentient for a small portion of the 90s. I guess "oughts kid" really just doesn't have the same ring to it.
I've been reading a few articles about how different the cultural landscape is now. And it is. But also it isn't. I read an article about how modern-day hookup culture has destroyed dating culture. I don't think that's true. I think it depends on what you're looking for. Clearly, if you want to hookup with someone, do that and if you want to date someone, do that. Just don't try to convince yourself that they're the same and don't settle for when when you want the other. The article suggested that hookup culture is, by and large, ultimately unsatisfying. It might have implied that this is particularly true for women, but I couldn't find the article, so I won't put words into its mouth. And maybe hookup culture is more of a thing than it was, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. I don't actually know if hookup culture is more of a thing. I know that my family is fairly conservative about the premarital sex thing and my impression is that most parental types are, which I don't really understand because they were totally there in the 60s. Well, mine were. I don't know. My data points are really limited to: Teacher Aunt, who had two boyfriends in high school, and married and then divorced one of them; Father, who apparently never dated ever and I have no idea how he managed to get married; and high school Robots Mentor who got a girl pregnant when he was 18 and got hitched to someone else some several years later.
But I'm getting off track. What was the track again? Nevermind. The article mentioned that people were tending to have casual dates like getting coffee with more people than fancy-dinner types with fewer people. That doesn't sound so bad to me. My current philosophy states that you (or maybe just I) should date many people casually and let nature takes its course where you see people you do like more often and increasingly seriously and people you don't like as much drop off. Starting off with the nice dinner is so much pressure on the datiness of it all. Though I can't speak from experience, it may be nice to feel courted, but it just seems really uncomfortable.

Anyway, the point of this is that different != bad, and that I should be wary of this when attempting to raise My Future Kids. As much as I enjoyed my Midwest suburban childhood, there are many excellent child-raising environments. And maybe I should think about not teaching My Future Kids to learn from my mistakes but rather how to land on their feet when they have no idea what's going on. I think this is one of the lessons of adulthood and one of the things that School tries to teach us. The answer of course is to Google often and to be very wary of Yahoo Answers.



^†I was going to cite a rather famous quote concerning the children of Ancient Greece, but apparently the quote is not by Socrates as it is often attributed, but in fact taken out of a 1907 dissertation by Kenneth John Freeman. But the point still stands.

Confidence

I've been thinking about confidence lately. Cojones, if you will.

It's hard to be confident when nobody likes people who aren't confident. It's a bit unfortunate, but sometimes you need to pit in a bit of effort to get the positive feedback ball rolling in your favor.

I've been thinking about what gives me confidence. I think I have a few strategies.
The first is a look at statistics. I believe that all people are worthy of being loved and get to have desires and should be able to think about themselves sometimes, and very nearly everyone can make a positive contribution to society as long as they're not preventing other people from contributing to society. Even if they're literally worse at everything than every other person. It's an economics thing. And when all people are  in their own way worthy, I find it extremely unlikely that I am somehow that marvel of probability that is not worthy of these things.
The second comes from introspection. I think about what I feel and what I want and I think about my actions (before and while I perform them) and (hopefully) find my actions justified.

Of course, it's a lot harder to be confident at School where everyone is super cool and does all this awesome shit and people are more like the person I want to be than I am. But then I come back home and the people are just like they were in high school and I have to wonder if they're like that all the time or just because they're back home too.

I had pretty low self-esteem back in my high school days. Maybe everyone did. Eventually I got over it. Sometimes when I experience personal growth, I get annoyed that other people have not experienced the same kind of growth. It's not reasonable, but I almost feel like they're trying to drag me back to darker, less enlightened days. But not exactly like that. Maybe they just remind me of how I used to be when I rejected that version to move forward. I feel no pity for them. I'm not sure. Maybe I think that because I got over it they should too. Or maybe I distance myself from them in the same way I distanced myself from Past Me. I'm not really sure. All I know is that sometimes I think that maybe I should be feeling sorry for some person and I check and find that I am not feeling even a little bit sorry for them.

I said something that surprised me the other day. I spoke of my high school iterations. I like that. I like the idea that all the Past Me's are just versions which are constantly being improved. It's like I can love those fuckups because they were the necessary steps to get to Current Me instead of hating them for being fuckups.

Crazy Bitch Theory

Reader, I am annoyed. I am annoyed with the wishy-washyness of our communication. I am annoyed with how hard it is to say things when it matters. I am annoyed with how hard it is to say "I'm sorry but I don't like you, please go away now." I wish it were a thing that people said. I wish it were a thing people could expect when applicable. I am annoyed that it is not. And I'm annoyed that it's currently unreasonable to expect this of someone. I am annoyed with the uncertainty associated with precarious social situations. I am annoyed that uncertainty results in further attraction in uncertain individuals in applicable situations. It's true, there's a study^†.

I developed a theory today. A theory of crazy bitches. The theory is that the vast majority of "crazy bitches" could be cured by simply stating "I'm sorry but I don't like you, please go away now." One might think that  ignoring someone would imply the "I'm sorry but I don't like you, please go away now" message, but it doesn't. It induces uncertainty. And annoyance. This is mildly humorous to exactly one person (me), because for a paper, I used the exact opposite argument. When one calls, texts, etc. someone, all they really want is a response. When they don't get one, they are of course inclined to do so more. While I'm on the psychology kick, I'm going to guess that this may be a form of operant conditioning.
Of course, some bitches just be crazy and there is no easy cure for them.

I implore you, Reader, to test my theory. Do you have a crazy bitch in your life? Try the ol' "I'm sorry but I don't like you, please go away now"! It's times like these that I wish I had a hoard of readers to do science for me.

UPDATE: I was also annoyed that it was so difficult to express one's dissatisfaction to relevant persons. The astute reader may have guessed that this post was inspired by actual events. In this case, I sucked it up, declared a commitment to openness and communication, and expressed my annoyance. A dialougue was then able to commence. Communication, Reader! It works!

^† The idea behind this is that when you're uncertain how much someone likes you, you tend to think about that person more often. You notice yourself doing this and conclude that you must be attracted to this person because you're thinking about them so much. Brains are actually not very good at telling what's going on sometimes. Something similar happens when you encounter someone in a mildly scary situation like a scary rope bridge or something. The physiological response for being scared of falling to your doom and the response for being attracted to someone are pretty similar so your brain confuses them. It thinks that you are having this adrenaline rush because of this person you are with instead of the gaping chasm below you and you thus become more attracted to this person than you would if you were both on solid ground.

Fear

I think one of the greatest challenges of life is conquering fear. I am plagued by fear. Not fear of things, but rather of doing new things. Of leaving my comfort zone. Of other people.

One strategy to conquer this fear is to think about the situation rationally. What's the worst that could happen? Person hates me forever and never speaks to me again and then kills my entire family. Okay, but what's actually the worst that could happen? Some form of rejection, I guess. Well that's not so bad! You can survive that! Yeah I guess, but that's not really what I'm afraid of. Then what are you afraid of? I don't know! You think I need to have something to fear to be afraid? Screw you, Rationality! You don't know me! One, I am you. And two, If you have nothing to fear, then why be afraid? Because it's scary! Why, why is it scary? I don't know! Then how do you even know that it is scary? Because I'm scared!

Such analyses tend not to be very helpful for me. 

My solution is not to not be afraid. Rather, I conquer my fear by thinking what Future Me would think. Some things I have to do even if I don't want to or am afraid to because Future Me would hate me if I didn't. This also applies to things that I want to have done more than I want to do. For example, I'm studying away next semester. It's not the draw of the experience itself that made me decide to do it so much as having had that experience. You get me? I've always wanted to travel somewhere. I think it's something everyone should do. I'm not really afraid of doing it, but I am a little bit. I know that if I gave up the opportunity to study away, I would probably never do it and Future Me would hate me forever for it. 

Now that I think of, that's another way of dealing with fear. Passing the buck to Future Me. You know what's not scary? Applying and paying for a semester abroad. You know what's even scarier than a semester abroad? Not going abroad after you applied, accepted, and and told everyone you were going away.

2012: A Year in Review

It that time of year. The time to look back and marvel at far we've come. Now that I think of it, maybe this is the sort of thing that should not be done at the end of the year but throughout. Anyway, let's look at the year.

In movies:
The Grey: I saw this through Redbox. It's basically a zombie movie with wolves instead of zombies.
The Hunger Games: I'm pretty sure I saw it. For the culture or something. Maybe I just saw an extensive trailer, who really knows.
Small Apartments: I saw this movie at SXSW, and I liked it a lot. Super indie. Friend got a screening at School, which is neat, though I didn't go.
The Cabin in the Woods: Holy god. I was excited for this movie because Joss Whedon, but I was afraid it would disappoint, I can't say I was super thrilled by the trailers. Holy god. It was amazing. It currently holds the title of My Favorite Movie.
The Avengers: Another Joss Whedon movie. I saw it twice in theaters. It's basically the best possible superhero movie (note that I would not count the Batman trilogy as superhero movies). I'm not crazy about superhero movies, but if I were to recommend one, it would be this.
Moonrise Kindom: Saw this one through FILM club. Super adorable and that indie movie feel with Bruce Willis.
Snow White and the Huntsman: I didn't actually watch this one in theaters. All I really have to say is that I'm getting over my prejudice against Twilight and Kristen Stewart, because it's dumb, really. Also, hot damn, Charlize Theron.
Brave: It was good but not super-fantastic. Really nice mother-daughter thing going for it though.
The Dark Knight Rises: It was not my favorite of the Batman movies. Though I did like Anne Hathaway and I always enjoy watching Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Christian Bale running around being beautiful.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: I enjoyed it enough to watch it twice. I love Martin Freeman being so average all the time. I feel like he's the only person typecasted as someone really normal. It was no Lord of the Rings, but it was enough. I kind of wish Tolkein was a better storyteller. He has such beautiful language and such a rich world that it seems a shame that the Eagles are always coming in to save the day even when they aren't really supposed to care about anyone. I saw it first in 3D. I really don't think that the extra dimension contributes to the movie and movies aren't really made with the third dimension in mind. I think it's a bit like the uncanny valley effect. It's caught in the valley of the perfect immersive experience. It's close, but really not close enough. I'm looking at you, out-of-focus foreground items.
Django Unchained: Holy god. I was expecting bloodshed. I was also expecting the story of a slave overcoming obstacles to achieve some such thing or another. But this movie. Holy god. Beautiful and bloody and absurd and a lot funnier than I was expecting from a Tarantino film. I keep thinking that Leonardo DiCaprio should be old by now but he is still looking good.
Les Misérables: I liked this movie a lot, despite having no idea what the plot was going into it. I'm a poor judge of singing, but one of those voices was not like the others. It was Russell Crowe's. Also close-ups, much? 

I saw a bunch of other movies that didn't come out this year, but there isn't a wikipedia article for that. Most notable were Dear Zachary, which left me feeling terrible. Also Dead Snow, a Nazi Zombie movie that I actually saw twice, once through FILM and once back home.

In music:
This year I've been feeling Fun., the Lumineers, Ke$ha, Counting Crows. With some spillover from Florence + the Machine and the Wombats from last year. I really am not a music person and I do not know how to music. 

In books:
I can't really remember what I read. Over the summer I re-read The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit (technically I only read half of it before but Father read the whole thing to me when I was young, so I think that counts). A good thing too, I was way too young to appreciate it the first time. I tried to make myself take my time and savor the language and not read when I wasn't getting anything from it. I did One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest over the semester and that was a pretty good time. Oh, and of course, summer reading book the Toaster Project, which I got signed by the author!

In "television":
Like people actually watch tvs anymore. Here's a joke for Future Me: Television! Ho, ho! Anyway, not many shows I really care about. Doctor Who, per uzh. I went on a Whedon kick and watched all of Buffy and Angel over the summer. I had a lot of time on my hands. I started reading the comics too, but only managed to get my hands on half of Season 8 in "motion comic" form. Also, I watched Once Upon A Time for a weekly roommate date. I gave up on Fringe. I stuck with White Collar because Matt Bomer is a beautiful man. I watch Bones and Castle when I'm bored. I enjoyed Warehouse 13, but wouldn't go out of my way to watch it (ie go anywhere other than Hulu). I guess anime counts too, but I can't remember all of them. Steins; Gate was my favorite but I also liked Baccano. I don't remember the rest. God, I watch a lot of screen.

I also picked up League of Legends over the summer and am now privvy to such slang as "gg," "gank," and "imba."

In people:
people I shared a room with: 1 #roomates4lyf
people I kissed: 3
people I wanted to kiss: 4 (off the top of my head)
people in the intersection of the two sets above: 1
about those in (2) intersect ~(3): WORTH
people I met: ALL OF THE FRESHMAN
people whom I introduced myself to as "Snipe": ALL OF THE FRESHMAN LOLOLOLOL
people whose room I have been in, not counting my own: 8 (I think)

If I were to go back in time one year and give Past Me advice, it would be this: GET A SUMMER JOB. LIE THROUGH YOUR TEETH IF YOU HAVE TO. Also, go on some freaking dates. It doesn't matter if you have a shotgun philosophy if you don't actually implement it.

If I were to thank 2012 Me, I would say, well, at least you did it, and now you're better for it and I won't make you do it again; thanks for taking one (or two) for the team. And thanks for getting that study away and summer job ball rolling, you really make me feel like I'm on top of my shit for that.

In resolutions:
One blog post per week. I'm thinking Saturday mornings.
Also generic be happier and healthier and do more of the things you like and less of things you don't.
Actually work and that coding thing you said you would work on but didn't all break.

In bad ideas:
Vodka watermelon: way too much vodka/watermelon
Subscribing to mailing lists
Sandals in snow, and I mean in snow. On snow is fine.
Waiting.
Telling the truth to people you want to be hired by. I'm still bitter.
Spending summer at home. Alone.
Going to second-hand stores for pants. Some people's legs are just too short for normal people pants.
Going to buffets. They are way too expensive and you either don't eat enough for it to be worth it or you eat until you feel like shit.

In apocalypses:
There were 2. Neither worked.

In politics:
The media is really kind of terrible. I think people are getting more frustrated with media sensationalism. Also parties are terrible. People actually tend to be reasonable people who can get along with other people with different view until you put them into a party and everything goes to hell and issues become more than issues and become symbols and shit. Part of me just wants everything to get worse so it can burn down and we can make something new and better instead, but I don't really think that would work.
Anyway, both Michele and T-Paw tried for president but neither made it very far. Michele is still crazy but managed to get re-elected to her district. Minnesota did not make it harder to vote or ban same-sex marriages in its Constitution, so that's pretty alright.
For posterity, this was the first year recreational marijuana use has been legalized, so that's neat.

Welp, that's all the ways I can of to sum up the year. Until we meet again, Reader!