Crazy Bitch Theory

Reader, I am annoyed. I am annoyed with the wishy-washyness of our communication. I am annoyed with how hard it is to say things when it matters. I am annoyed with how hard it is to say "I'm sorry but I don't like you, please go away now." I wish it were a thing that people said. I wish it were a thing people could expect when applicable. I am annoyed that it is not. And I'm annoyed that it's currently unreasonable to expect this of someone. I am annoyed with the uncertainty associated with precarious social situations. I am annoyed that uncertainty results in further attraction in uncertain individuals in applicable situations. It's true, there's a study^†.

I developed a theory today. A theory of crazy bitches. The theory is that the vast majority of "crazy bitches" could be cured by simply stating "I'm sorry but I don't like you, please go away now." One might think that  ignoring someone would imply the "I'm sorry but I don't like you, please go away now" message, but it doesn't. It induces uncertainty. And annoyance. This is mildly humorous to exactly one person (me), because for a paper, I used the exact opposite argument. When one calls, texts, etc. someone, all they really want is a response. When they don't get one, they are of course inclined to do so more. While I'm on the psychology kick, I'm going to guess that this may be a form of operant conditioning.
Of course, some bitches just be crazy and there is no easy cure for them.

I implore you, Reader, to test my theory. Do you have a crazy bitch in your life? Try the ol' "I'm sorry but I don't like you, please go away now"! It's times like these that I wish I had a hoard of readers to do science for me.

UPDATE: I was also annoyed that it was so difficult to express one's dissatisfaction to relevant persons. The astute reader may have guessed that this post was inspired by actual events. In this case, I sucked it up, declared a commitment to openness and communication, and expressed my annoyance. A dialougue was then able to commence. Communication, Reader! It works!

^† The idea behind this is that when you're uncertain how much someone likes you, you tend to think about that person more often. You notice yourself doing this and conclude that you must be attracted to this person because you're thinking about them so much. Brains are actually not very good at telling what's going on sometimes. Something similar happens when you encounter someone in a mildly scary situation like a scary rope bridge or something. The physiological response for being scared of falling to your doom and the response for being attracted to someone are pretty similar so your brain confuses them. It thinks that you are having this adrenaline rush because of this person you are with instead of the gaping chasm below you and you thus become more attracted to this person than you would if you were both on solid ground.