Lives of Scale

I was at a talk about start-ups today. I'm not really interested in starting a company, but they mentioned something interesting.They said that it's easier to transition from being a student to running a start-up than from working for a large company to running a start-up. You know, because students are poor and work all the time and so do start-up owners, whereas people at large companies get paid a ton and have very set hours. Once you get paid more, you start spending more. I notice this a bit when I actually started getting the meager income I do from student employment. I sometimes buy things because I want them now. I'm still a cheap bastard, but how will that change when I actually start making real money? 

At some level, the more fund you have, the greater your tie to your money, and the less freedom you have. Suddenly the things you do cost money. Suddenly you have a mortgage; you have responsibilities. Suddenly you can't just get up and leave. And what if you wake up one day and don't like where you are?

At some point or another, My Future Kids will exist, I will have very real responsibilities regardless of how much money I make. Until then, however, it will just be me and maybe Spouse. Don't get me wrong, I want to work for some company and make the big bucks. I just don't want the big bucks to hold me back, well as little as possible, anyway. I realize that any kind of job security with the big bucks comes at a cost. But I decided something. If I don't have to live paycheck to paycheck, I won't.

But I can see how the money is dangerous. Why would I live with roommates if I don't have to? Why would I live an hour away from my work if I don't have to? Why would I live in a tiny, grody, apartment when I can afford a nice one? But it comes at a price. If I stop bringing in the big bucks, will I still be okay?

I don't want to be stuck somewhere that I don't want to be. At some level, I don't even want to stuck somewhere that I do want to be. Ideally, I will be able to make enough money, and live in such a way that if I so decided, I can pack up and go and still be able to sustain myself for a while.

One of the things that frightens me the most is the slow death of complacency. It's so tempting to take the easier route. I like to pretend that somewhere, out there, there is something that I'm passionate about. But suppose no such thing exists, suppose I only find things that I'm merely happy or satisfied doing, if that. This is the reason that I'm afraid of going to grad school right after getting my degree. What if I never leave academia because it's so much easier to go to school for the rest of my life? What I never leave my cushy job at Major Company because it's so much easier to rake in the dough than to do something that excites me? Becoming dependent on my job at Major Company will only make it easier to shut my eyes and forget that there was anything else that I wanted to do. It's scary to throw your fortune to the wind. But being scared is something that I need to do. To be a better person or some shit. Are you ever more alive than when you are scared for your life? I don't really know. I've never done it, but it's a romantic idea I suppose.