More Holiday Angst

I decided on a New Year's, or rather Rest of My Life resolution. Never become as lonely as Cool Aunt and her house full of animals. I know that I am a terrible person, thanks. Convenience marriages and sperm banks are wonderful, beautiful things. 

I have a pact with one of my friends that if neither of us get married by the time we're ~35 (I don't remember the exact age), we will get a convenience marriage. He was probably joking, but when the time comes (I'll say 37), I will so take him up on that offer. I'm completely serious. 

If that plan falls through, I better have a lot of good friends and high-quality babies with my preferred hair color, eye color, and ethnicity.

You may laugh at me, but after a childhood with few to no friends, I consider a life of utter loneliness to be a very real possibility. 

Thus I write it here, immortalized on the internet, if on my 37th birthday I find myself alone, I will obtain My Future Kids and optionally Spouse by whatever means necessary. I kind of frighten myself sometimes. This is one of those times. But also, I really don't want to spend the rest of my life alone.