Mmm Watcha Say

I will communicate with My Future Kids. I will not assume that they understand all those stupid idioms 'n' shit. I will not assume that they know what I mean. Furthermore, I will make them communicate clearly with me. If they ever say something that can be misinterpreted, I will misinterpret it, regardless of whether I know what they mean or not. Sure, they will consider me to some kind of dumb-shit for the majority of their young adult lives, but at least they will become excellent at saying what they mean. Except, actually, I will not just misinterpret them, because then I'll be just as bad as my parents. I will actually just present them with all the possible interpretations and then purposefully misinterpret them if they remain unclear. I think the extra step will save us all from extra effort and frustration.
Maybe this will cripple My Future Kids. Maybe they will become too used to clarity and won't be able to make good judgments about whatever people mean when they are being ambiguous. This, I realize, is a problem. My Future Kids will need to be able to see things from other people's points of view and should learn to be able to infer what is mostly likely meant. Then again, maybe I should just teach them to ask questions. And teach them to lie so they understand other points of view. I think that will solve the problem.